The Clock is Ticking

And they are both of them naked, the man and his wife, and they are not ashamed of themselves.
~Genesis 2:25 (Young's Literal Translation)

I'm feeling shy and silly and quiet. And giddy. Ever so freakin' giddy.

I never feel this way. I'm the boss at work. Supervisory and in charge. I make decisions, I'm the go-to girl. And then, I get home, where I live with a 7year old fuzzy-haired non-leader. So, I make the decisions there, dinner, bills, shopping. I even have control of the remote, though that may have more to do with having opposable thumbs than because I rule.

In short, I'm a very independent 21st century woman, who does not need a man and can certainly function both literally and figuratively on my own. I've done it for so long now I hardly need to think about it. It just is who I am.

But that's not who I want to be.

For all my stubbornness regarding being an independent woman, there's a part of me that just wants to be Donna Reed. Or June Cleever. With a little Scarlett O'Hara mixed in for good measure.

I want...this...































Which feels like it flies in the face of who I have made myself out to be. But we all know there's a "work us" and a "home us."

It's just that for some reason (or maybe because of someone), I'm feeling more like not stifling that quiet and shy part of me that just wants to be taken care of and, of all things, let a man do it.

I wanna be a girl...and just a girl. Be all Tammy Wynette and stand by my man.

I'm probably one of the few people of my generation (okay, relatively few) who will vow to "love, honor, and obey" when I marry my future husband. I don't think my obedience to my husband eliminates my brain or makes me less than an equal. The man is the head of the household, spiritually at the very least. And I want it to be that way.

But I do want to have my life away from the house. My work life. So...balance.

The Bible reference. Goes back to the idea that Adam and Eve were not capable of hiding from each other. They were naked before the other, literally and figuratively, and were unashamed by this. It wasn't until sin was introduced that either felt like there might be something to hide from the other. Which is sad, because it's made humans as a whole untrusting of others.

And I don't want to be that way. I would prefer to be "naked and unashamed" with my partner/spouse. There should be no fear of him finding something out about me, or vice versa.

Yeah. I wanna be June Cleever. Ward would be a worthy partner. I'd even take Wally and Beaver. However, I'd prefer that Eddie Haskell just stayed home.

I was asked again last night why I still live and work in my small town. Really, at 20,000+, it's not a "small" town, but it has that feel for me. And you know, it's home.

I agree, sometimes you've got leave home to appreciate what's there, sometimes in order to find yourself. But there's 2 songs out on the radio right now that are very much speaking to me. The first is Miranda Lambert's "The House That Built Me."



I mentioned in the post for Sunday Scribblings, that I'm feeling a birth of newness in myself. As I laid in bed last night, radio going softly, I realized that it's so much more than that. I'm coming back to myself. I'm not pushing myself away from who I am anymore. Trying to be bigger and better, when I really just need to be little ol' me. Lady Antebellum's "American Honey" reminds me of that.




I'm digging Zac Brown Band's "Free" right now, too. The feel of the video is just one take on the song. For me, it's an affirmation of where I am right now--on the verge, but ever so free.

It's been bizarro the last few weeks. Things happening, trying to make sense of things. So, this is sort of an update post, but more a chance for me to meander....no, mosey. I like that word better. *grin*

We've started a weight loss challenge at work. An old friend of mine, P, was a personal trainer in another life and volunteered to be the person yelling at me when I detour from the straight and narrow of diet and exercise. He was rather mean the first day (before I'd actually started), and we've only actually met once since then because of previous engagements. But that one day I'd made progress--down by 4 lbs. I'm still steadily dropping so that's good.

On that note, I'm down by 10 pounds from where I was 3 weeks ago. I'm like, totally flabbergasted. Seriously. I'm not sick and I'm not starving myself. I'm not dreaming about food and eating a head of iceberg lettuce so that something's in my stomach.

I've been doing a lot of thinking about my outlook on life lately.

I've got to learn to be less pessimistic. Not that I'm horribly so, I don't think, but I know that I am too often.

I talked once about my dad and "wonderful, wonderful" (I'll find that link later.). You know, the basic idea is that my dad is never just "fine" when you ask how he is. He's always "ginger peachy" or "wonderful, wonderful." Of all the people in my life, he's probably the most consistently positive person that I know. It's really pretty awesome, and I hope to be just like him one day.

Anyway, I was thinking about that post again. I reread it recently, and was thinking about how I'm always "pretty good" or just "fine." What a boring way to live.

Then, a few weeks ago, I read an article in a parenting magazine about raising joy-filled kids (to which I cannot find a link. If I do, I'll share it.). I came to two realizations. First, I do an amazing job with The WonderDog. All those little things they suggest to raise a child (um, dog) who is joyful are the things I do for him. One thing stood out, to me and I've been pondering it for weeks.

Get caught up in "wow" moments. Of course, what the writer was suggesting was that you allow yourself to get caught up in your child's wow moments, even if you don't think they're particularly "wow." It'll make them feel good that you think the things that spark them are exciting too. I do this with The WonderDog. He is completely wowed by frogs, lizards, and the sprinklers here at our apartment complex. So, we take time to go play with them. We've been on frog hunts more than one evening, actually managed to catch our quarry even.

But, I got to thinking, positive people let themselves get caught up in wow moments. Negative or pessimistic people do not. I rarely let myself get carried away with wow things. I always tell myself I don't have time. Lately, though, I've been on the look out for them, in the back of my mind. I let myself be taken over with the sheer joy of just something pretty or word play or whatever.

I told The Man about this over lunch in New Orleans a week ago. I'm sure he thought I was nutty--I was going nutty over the sauce on the hot wings at Pat O'Brien's. It was AMAZING. I can still taste it. I think I actually moaned at one point. After one look from him that had tones of "what the hell is going on over there?" in it, I felt I'd better tell him that I'm restructuring my outlook.

So, I explained. I explained that I'm tired of not absolutely loving my life. Okay, so there are aspects of it I'm not ever going to like (like being alone), but that doesn't mean I shouldn't let myself be happy and excited about all the wonderful things in it.

And so, I'm trying. This last week was rough. Very rough. But, it was made easier by allowing The WonderDog to lead on our walks, so I could see what captured him. You can't tell me dogs don't have imaginations. He's all over the place when we walk. And just like a child, he plays with the thin air. There's a story line going on in his head that he gets caught up in. When he gets caught playing with the characters, he gets this sheepish look on his face. I can tell he's a little embarassed that he got caught fighting with imaginary foes, but he'd really rather get back to the fun.

While it wouldn't be strictly appropriate for me to get caught up in the story with him (how exactly would I explain that should someone ask what I'm doing?), that doesn't mean I can't allow myself to get caught up in a day dream now and again.

Yesterday, I skipped out on church. I should've gone, I know I should've. I needed some quiet, though. Needed to be still, and I wouldn't have done that going to church. So, I spent some extra time on the couch, and when it had warmed a little, I moved outside. I took a book, my old favorite To Kill a Mockingbird. The WonderDog alternated between the sunny spot on the patio and my lap. I sipped tea, first iced tea, then chamomile. I just loved the day. A little lizard sunned himself on the rail and didn't care that I was staring at him, or that I held up The WonderDog to see him.

There were no big wows yesterday, but there were some little ones. Like The WonderDog just sniffing the lizard and not freakin' completely out because OMG MOM THERE'S A LIZARD, THERE'S A LIZARD!!!! Or, dozing off a little in the sun. And the fact that my complex, which is NEVER silent during the day, was peaceful and quiet all day long.

It was a good day. I came in just after sunset and settled in with a cup of cocoa and my needlepoint. The small dog snuggled in under the afghan, effectively becoming my personal space heater. We watched our shows, then migrated to the bed.

All in all, it was pretty wonderful. Wonderful.

Might've been ginger peachy, too.

Ah..it's Friday. It's Halloween Friday, even. WonderDog's birthday is today. Since I have plans this evening, tomorrow he and I will make a pilgrammage to the big pet store and buy a new toy. And TREATS!

Today's Friday Five theme is "Positive Potpourri." This is the the time of year that we all start that craziness of fall and winter holidays--that goes right through to the first of the new year.

1) Your work day is done and the brain is fried, what do you do? I run home for a cuddle session with the WonderDog. And eat pasta. And find an episode of House.

2) Your work week is done and the brain is fried (for some Friday, others Sunday afternoon), what do you do? Vegetate. And read pure drivel.

3) Like most of us, I often keep myself busy even while programs are on the tv. I stop to watch The Office and 30 Rock on Thursday nights. Do you have 'stop everything' tv programming or books or events or projects that are totally 'for you' moments? House. Stop everything and watch it. As for an event..well, the WonderDog keeps me grounded, having to take him out for a walk just makes you slow down and breathe.

4) When was the last time you laughed, really laughed? What was so funny? Last night, actually. Mother had picked me up to go to a rehearsal. After rehearsal, we got all the way home--her home--and into the garage before we realized she hadn't taken me home yet.

5) What is a fairly common item that some people are willing to go cheap on, but you are not.
Socks. I'm all about fabulous socks. I don't buy Hanes socks.

Bonus:
It's become trite but is also true that we often benefit the most when we give. Go ahead, toot your own horn. When was the last time you gave until it felt good? Everyday..my students know that my reason for being is them. I am not above crying in front of them out of joy or frustration. I've dropped everything and run to help them more than once.

For more positivity this weekend, visit RevGalBlogPals.

I went to see "Nights in Rodanthe" yesterday. I'd completely forgotten that it was based on Nicholas Sparks's book of the same name. Had I remembered, I would also have gone to Wal-Mart to pick up a box of tissues prior to the movie. Yes, ladies, it will make you cry. Big boo-hoo tears, too.

Duh, it's a Sparks movie. *wink*

Anyway, at one point, Adrienne (Diane Lane) and Paul (Richard Gere) are looking this driftwood box that she'd made years before. The local lore says that you build this box and put things that are most important to you in your life. They get around to the idea that these things are the things that save you. And he asks her, "What saves you?"

(Now that I think about it, I may have misunderstood what he said, but the point is still the same.)

What saves you?

The obvious answer here, for someone like me, is Christ. Right? And no, I don't mean to belittle the idea that my faith in Christ is what drives me and fills me. Because it absolutely does.

But, that's not all. I think where I'm going with this is that what saves me, what really really does it for me in ways that I can name, is where I see Christ in my world everyday. Only, I don't think I've ever said it that way before.

What saves me? In no particular order, other than this is how I can best put words to it.

Music. Music is such a huge part of my world. I don't know how to function in silence. Power outtages? Thank God for my iPod. You know the old question, if you had to lose one of your five senses, which one would you choose? Sight. No question. I can get by not seeing the people and places that I love. I could live without seeing the beauty around me. But I couldn't bear the thought of not hearing music, or the birds, or the voices of my loved ones. Not a one. I guess, really, what I mean is sound, more than music. But, when all else is silent, I plug into my music and escape.

My family. For all the times I've wanted to scream at them (and I know that makes me no different than anyone else.), I know that in the end, I'd be lost without them. Moms and daughters are supposed to clash a bit, I really do believe that. (And I fear families in which that doesn't happen.) Brothers and sisters aren't supposed to be perfect angels together when growing up (again with the fear). And Daddies are supposed to risk it all for their little girls when they're being stupid. And you know what, that's how my family is. I don't know how we got here, because I'm certain the dynamic that the 4 of us have is nothing like how my parents grew up in their childhood homes. And sometimes, I wish we could go back to our little foursome in the house across town.

The WonderDog. I know this is probably silly-sounding to an outsider. But, I got WD during a time in my life that was dark. I was very low, I was alone in that way that only the isolated feel. I'd wanted to get a dog when I first moved out of my parents' house, but decided to wait until I finished my grad school, so that I would be home to be with a dog. I finished my graduate work in August. In October, someone at work said his dog was going to have an unplanned litter puppies at the end of the month, half yorkie/half schnauzer. (Imagine, WD's parents were papered pure breds. Oh the horror! Oh the shame!) I told him to keep me in mind, I might want one of the pups. Turns out WD was the runt, and the only boy in the litter. He's also the cutest one in the whole bunch. He healed my wounded heart and mind. Four years later, he's my favorite little buddy.

So...what saves you?

Ugh..this is what happens when you give yourself a break from the things you normally do. You get behind...

My friend Sharon, over at Reservoir tagged me this week. So, I'm not totally behind, but still. I would normally have seen it IMMEDIATELY and responded almost as fast!

So, here goes...

The rules (because they all have rules)

1. Link to the person who tagged you. Done..did you see that link up there?
2. Post the rules on your blog. Ahem...notice?
3. Write 6 random things about yourself. Keep reading
4. Tag 6 people at the end of your post and link to them. ...
5. Let each person know they have been tagged and leave a comment on their blog. ...
6. Let the tagger know when your entry is up. ...

Hmmmm....

• My favorite place in my house is my bed. I love to lay (lie?) in bed and read a book. With all the work I've done and money I've spent to make it perfect, it's almost the most expensive thing I own.
• I used to long-hand write everything, even my blog posts before I typed them in. But, the more I used my computer, I developed some arthritis in my hands. So, unless I'm willing to take something everyday, there's some mornings I get up and can't hold a pen, unless it's a really, really fat one.
• That's why I prefer to use those kindergarten pencils that are chubby. No, that's just the excuse I use now. I've always preferred those.
• I don't eat raw tomatoes. Ever. It's a texture thing. But I've recently learned to lurve roasted ones. By recent I mean "just this week."
• I don't know how to swim. I'd love to, but I don't.
• I love greasy food...just love it. I know it's horrible for me, as nasty medical conditions that are aggravated by poor diets run in my family, but I can't help it. It's almost like grease is a comfort food.

Anyway, there they are, 6 random facts about me. I don't have 6 people I can think to tag, that haven't done one like this in the recent months...so....I tag anyone who wanders by! Just leave me a comment so I know you played!

I've laid out a couple weeks, because school/work stuff got the better of me. And yesterday, well....I laid on the couch for a few hours after dealing with my parents banged up car (what a way to start a vacation..I'll tell you that story some other tim). But, today, I'm really into the prompt. It seems, to me at least, to go hand in hand with the my wanderings while doing the Stillness Experiment this month.

And so, Sally, over at RevGalBlogPals says:

This week I took some time out to stop and walk and take in the view; my son Chris is studying in one of the most beautiful parts of the country, too often we simply drive up there, turn around and come home! This time Tim and I took time out to take in the view. It occurs to me that we need to do that more in life....

With that in mind I offer you this weeks Friday Five:

1. How important is the "big picture" to you, do you need a glimpse of the possibilities or are you a details person? I think seeing the big picture is my goal setting opportunity. I need to see where I'm heading, even if I'm fully aware that the picture may evolve as I work through whatever it is.

2. If the big picture is important to you how do you hold onto it in the nitty gritty details of life? Depends on the project/experience. I'm a planner, so a lot of times at work, I'll make a chart or a list with the big umbrella being the final goal, the big picture. Then all the detail stuff I'll put underneath (I know you've seen these things before...they're SUCH an English teacher tool--hmm...I was an English major.). It helps me to see where my little detail fits in the big picture. And then there's the whole sense of accomplishment as I see the details being wiped out!

3. Name a book, poem, psalm, piece of music that transports to to another dimension ( one....what am I thinking....) Hm...Luke., as in "The Gospel of." I think it's because I feel like, him being a doctor and all, he's the most detail-oriented. Then the chorus "Sanctuary." That one gets me most every time. (I don't like the voices in this one, but you'll get the idea).




I get seriously caught up in Gone with the Wind, too. Okay, so darn near anything Southern, to be honest.


4.Thinking of physical views, is there somewhere that inspires you, somewhere that you breathe more easily? Yes, actually. I breathe more easily when I'm outside on a cool, quiet morning. I've been soaking it in the last few days, being off a week before the summer sessions start up. What's even better is laying out under a tree in the cool grass. The kind where you can feel where every blad of grass is touching your body. It's heavenly.


5. A picture opportunity... post one if you can ( or a link to one!)



Borrowed from AllSpice1's Flickr stream. Thanks!












To view some other thoughts inspired by the view, visit RevGalBlogPals Friday Five for this week.

This started as a hand-written journal entry today. And morphed into an email I sent an acquaintance. It was his email that sent me into a tailspin. I'm going to try to piece it together for you, here.

I was asked what I really want. Well..I have to tell you that question is what sent me into a spin. I thought I knew, though I haven't voiced dreams or desires in some time. I can't think 2 years down the road right now, much less 10. And maybe that's because right now I feel secure in my job (which means I feel secure in the things that go along with being employed, like financial security). I mean, they've let me be in on a big project--it would be a cruel joke to not let me continue that. And my district is full of politics, but they aren't flat out mean.

I've been struggling of late with my faith. I'm not concerned that it's ailing--I'm quite a joyous Presbyterian, thank you. I even feel like, for the most part, I'm living an active and what I call a "naked eye" faith. Meaning that Christ in my life is visible to the naked eye. I know, quite certainly, in Whom my salvation lies. Moreover, I am a rejoicing Christian

I'm just feeling disconnected. Out of touch with my own personal faith. A 'medicine head' kind of feeling. I feel a little lost and like I'm doing things by rote, not by desire.

Church on Sunday, grace at the table, prayers at bedtime. Yeehaw.

I read something this afternoon that feels like it applies to me. The guy was describing a 20 year old leaving for his first away from home college experience. The kid is in a questioning place, and the big question is whether to keep hold of the faith that he was taught by someone else or to create his own relationship with Christ that may not look like his parents. In other words, drop the one-size-fits-all model for one that is tailor-made.

I feel like, after 25 years of the one-size-fits-all, I've outgrown it. So, I'm praying for the ability to define my relationship with my Savior, not the Savior.

By the way, the book I was reading today is Surprise Me: a 30-Day Faith Experiment. It's by Terry Esau. Yesterday I read Randy Pausch's The Last Lecture. I'm not done with Surprise Me, yet. But I have to tell you that if there's any book (other than the Bible) I'm liable to tell people they MUST READ, it's Pausch's book. I am completely humbled by his words.

This week's Friday Five is about moving. I don't enjoy moving. In fact, I don't plan to move again until I get married, whenever that may be. I keep saying I'd like to get out of apartment living and find a rent house, but the fact of the matter is, I won't. Unless rent gets much more ridiculous.

1. How many times have you moved? When was the last time? Um, counting in and out of dorm rooms in college, 7 times.

2. What do you love and hate about moving? I hate the packing, unpacking, lifting, carrying. Hm..pretty much all the physical stuff. I love getting organized and discovering new spaces.

3. Do you do it yourself or hire movers? I've done it both ways. I've also recruited family and friends. Pretty much I try to find others who can do the heavy lifting, because I'm not supposed to.

4. Advice for surviving and thriving during a move? Try to be organized and don't leave off packing until the night before. I also try to have a firm plan about where things need to go. I also learned to have the movers put the big stuff in the new place first--you can use that to stack boxes on afterwards so that you can still see the floor.

5. Are you in the middle of any inner moves, if not outer ones? Yeah, trying to remind myself to simplify things. Not just things that I do, but the way that I think.

Bonus: Share a piece of music/poetry/film/book that expresses something about what moving means to you.

Oh, this is easy. I wrote this poem in high school, and I think it applies to so many different situations.

Things are not as they
teach us--the Earth is hollow;
I have touched the sky.


**To see more posts about "moving" posts, check out this week's Friday Five at RevGalBlogPals.

Ms. Judy tagged me..like a long time ago. Ok, like a week ago. So, here goes...

The rules are:

1. Link to the person who tagged you.
2. Post the rules here
3. Share 7 random or weird facts about yourself
4. Tag 7 random people at the end of the post, linking to them.
5. Leave a comment on their blog so that they know they’ve been tagged.


Hm...randomness...ok...

--I used to be a professional flag twirler. Yes, that's right..professional. (Remember, to be considered a pro as opposed to an amateur all that really counts is that someone paid you to do it.)

--I am probably the only person Ms. Judy knows who can gracefully work in a comment about squirrels mating on a sidewalk into a campus tour. But only if the the tour group stumbles upon the squirrels in the act.

--I don't know how to swim. Ok, so, I know what you're supposed to do, but I can't make it happen.

--For all my technological know how with computers and VCRs (I am not a "blinking twelve"), I can't make the copy machine do what I want it to when I want it to.

--I think a new pair of really soft socks are Heaven on Earth. I also think freshly washed and starched sheets with tightly tucked hospital corners might be.

--I am a closet dork. Really.

--I am terrified of growing old and have no idea what you people who are going to do it "gracefully" are smoking. I've already considered the boob lift, I color my hair, and may well be the reason Oil of Olay is still in business.

I don't have too many "blog friends," (and Judy's one of them), so...I'll tag only 2.

EQ and XBox Wife.....you're up!

I've been lurking for a long time at RevGalBlogPals blog (ugh, say it 10 times fast, ok?) Every week, there's a "Friday Five," a list of questions or sentence starters that to make you think. About yourself, and maybe a little deeper than that. This week, I finally decided to play along.

Remember, today is Good Friday, the Friday immediately before Easter.

1. Our prayer concerns are as varied as we are this day. For whom would you like us to pray?Well, I suppose I could just insert my laundry list of people here..but I think I need to be a little selfish and ask for prayers for me. For discernment and some healing.
2. Are there things you have done or will do today to help the young ones understand this important day in our lives? Unfortunately, no. My home church doesn't have a Good Friday service. I realize that I could've gone somewhere and joined in, but I felt like today I needed to stay home and focus on some other things. I do recognize that I could change this next year.
3. Music plays an important part in sharing the story of this day. Is there a hymn or piece of music that you have found particularly meaningful to your celebrations of Good Friday? Music is so hugely important in my life. Today, I found myself thinking of songs my grandparents loved, whether they are typical Good Friday hymns or not--"As I Survey the Wondrous Cross," "And Can it Be That I Should Gain?," "At the Cross," and (I always think of this one when I think of my grandparents) "His Eye is on the Sparrow." Not really a Good Friday hymn, but still on my mind today.
4. As you hear the passion narrative, is there a character that you particularly resonate with? Peter, pre-3rd cock crow. I'm a stubborn mule as well, but I think that Jesus used that as much as he used some more positive personality traits in Peter. I believe Peter's heart was always in the right place, whether his head joined him there immediately or not. I know that in a lot of ways, I'm a Peter.
   
5. Where have you seen the gracious God of love at work lately? Everywhere. I'm going through something of a metamorphosis right now. I feel Him moving in me. Outside of this though, I see him everywhere. With it being spring and things blooming and awakening, I see Him in each bud, and in the way my little dog delights in the newness of things. I see Him, too, holding the hearts of my family as we heal from the loss of my grandfather.

For more, visit this week's Friday Fives at RevGalBlogPals.

Fill out and send back to me then send an empty one to everyone to have them fill out


THE BASICS*~

Your Name- Jayne Marche

Nicknames- Jayne

Birthday- Sept. 10


~*HAVE YOU??*~

Been kissed? Yes..a few times.

Eaten an entire box of Oreos? No..I just can't make eat that many. Now, ChipsAhoy? That's another story.

Been on stage? Yes

Gotten in a car accident? I'll plead the 5th, but I'd like it to be known that I was framed.

Death Valley on horseback? Um..no.

Stayed home? From what? School? Yes. Work? Yes. When I shouldn't have? Yes

Made homemade fudge? Yes and it was FABULOUS.

Seen the Eiffel tower? Alas, only in pictures.


~*FAVORITES*~

Shampoo:  Right now, Herbal Essences "Tousle me Softly"

Soap: Dove

Color: Red

Day: Thursday

Night: The one in which I sleep 8 hours. (Hoping to meet at least one of these)

Band: Today? Switchfoot and BareNaked Ladies. And Lady Antebellum

Season: Spring

Commercial: Anything with a BlueBell singing cow.

~*YOUR FRIENDS*~

Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend? no. sigh.

Do you have a crush on someone: yes.

Do you have a best friend? yes

Do you rank your speed dial in order of favorite friends? no..but you can tell who I call often.

Who’s your funniest friend? Hm..C.

Who do you go to the mall with the most? Prolly The Man..but I tend to avoid malls in general.

Who do you e-mail the most? C

Who have you known the longest of your friends? C

Who’s the loudest? C

Who’s the shyest? G

Whose parents do you know the best? The Man

Who do you go to for advice? The Man, followed by C

Who knows all your secrets? The Man...and C

Who do you get the most surveys from? Ha...no one!

Who are you jealous of? people with boyfriends

Who do you cry with? The Man.

What is your usual quote? My usual quote?? What does that mean? Um..my favorite is "Hope is a thing with feathers" (Emily Dickinson)


~*IN THE LAST 24 HOURS HAVE YOU*~

Cried? no

Eaten fluf? Probably. It happens.

Helped someone? Yup

Bought something? Yes..another Barnes & Noble day.

Dissected something? Only the code for this blog.

Cut your hair? no

Worn a skirt? yes

Worn a tie? no

Been mean? No. Wanted to? Hell, yes.

Been sarcastic? Yep..I wouldn't be me otherwise.

Gone for a run? HAHAHAHAHA..no.

Gone for a walk? Yes

Gone to the movies? No, but I thought about it.

Gone out for dinner? Yes..

Been kissed? :( no.

Felt stupid? Yes.

Said “I love you”? Yes..do Daddies count?

Written a letter? No.

Written a paper? Yes...I much prefer it.

Taken a test? No

Met someone new? Yes

Moved on? Um..I don't know.

Written in a journal? Yes...that's the paper thing, you know?

Watched your favorite movie? No

Talked to someone you have a crush on?  Yes

Given someone a present? No.

Missed someone? Yes, very much

Hugged someone? No

Had a nightmare? Yes

Fought with your parents? Nope.

Fought with a friend? Nope.

Been Scared? Yes


~*WHENS THE LAST TIME YOU*~

Showered? This morning.

Ate a meal? About an hour ago.

What are you wearing right now? Jeans and a t-shirt...my uniform

Are you tired? Kind of

Are you lonely? Yes, very much

Are you happy? Sort of

Are you wearing pajamas?  See above..no.

Are you hungry? Not at all..stuffed actually

Are you eating? Um..no..but thinking about a piece of chocolate.

Are you talking to someone online? Not currently

Are you ready for this survey to end? Ugh..yes.

How long did this survey take you?  15 minutes



WELL YOU’RE NOT DONE!!!….



>>>>FAVORITE STUFF>>>>

Type of sandwich: I don't eat sandwiches.

Coffee or hot chocolate? Hmm...yes

Cold or hot weather? Cold

Big or little? medium

Lace or satin? Satin

Red or blue? Red

New or old? depends, what are we talking about?

Here or there? Here



OK YOU’RE DONE!!!!!