The Clock is Ticking

I've never watched the Regis and Kelly show. This morning, they're taste-testing some crazy, crazy ice cream concoctions from Country Cow Creamery. They've tried beer, creamed corn, green beans, and turkey and gravy flavors. Some things shouldn't be ice cream flavors.

Kelly is being a total child "I don't wanna try it! You can't make me!" Then she does it anyway because Gelman told her to.

I hate women like that. Either do what your told, or don't. But don't be a whiny child. There's no point and you make the rest of us look bad.

And she's skinny, too. Damn her.

It's before 7 a.m. on a Tuesday morning. A Tuesday morning that I'm off. I wanted to sleep late, but The Wonder Dog didn't get the memo. Actually, I believe the problem is that he ate the memo before reading it. Now he's all curled up next to me, sleeping. Damn.

Last night, I fell asleep on the couch watching "The Dukes of Hazzard." I've always loved that show. So, this morning, when I rolled over (still on the couch), I turned on the TV to find that I was still on CMT (seems like I remember changing the channel to the X-Files rerun, but maybe not.). So, for the last hour, I've been watching country music videos.

A few thoughts on that...

Song's called "Why." I'll look up the artist later. Anyway, the guy's HOT. But he's got this weird idea that he must wear a black cowboy hat. There's really only so many people that can pull off a black cowboy hat. He's not one of them. I realize that there is a standard formula for male country artists, but that formula kinda quit working so well when they started piercing their ears--like this guy, who's name I promise I will look up. Artist's name is Jason Aldean. His "big smash hit" so far is "Hicktown"--a rockin' good song.

Billy Joe Shaver "Live Forever." Okay, LOVE Billy Joe Shaver. It just seems really, really odd that he's doing a music video though. Not what I'd expect, but no one asked me. Great song, too.

Reba McEntire "You're Gonna Be" (Okay, I'm not sure it's in Reba's contracts to use slang pronunciation and spellings, but that's how she sang it.). Beautiful song, but so many of hers are. My only complaint is that they constantly film her with lighting that makes her look ghostly. Ick.

Trace Adkins "Honky Tonk, Badonkadonk." WTF??? This is a cowboy's version of "I Like Big Butts." I kid you not. Some of the best lines: "How she even get those britches on" "That's why we do it, boys...it ain't for the free whiskey...it's for the badonkadonk." WTF?

Montgomery Gentry "She Don't Tell Me To." Dude's so involved in this song that he 's about ready to cry. That' would be the one who's always wearing duster. Today, he's all in black with some silver accents on his jeans, a hat that looks like something Zorro would wear, and red ropers. What?

JoDee Messina "Delicious Surprise (I Believe It)" This chick rocks. She is just so much fun and takes absolutely no crap off nobody. She also gives the impression that she's really internalized every word she's singing. Awesome. I'm gonna have to get this CD.

Faith Hill "Like We Never Loved at All." Sad, sad, song. "Story line" in the video is set in the 70s, and ol' Tim helps her out with this one. She looks great with the big, big hair, thought the bright yellow dress could've been left on the rack. He looks stupid in the golf cap thing he's got on in the beginning of the video.

Terri Clark "I Just Wanna Be Mad." She's obviously a farm-girl, tomboy. I love it. The song's great, too. They've had a fight, she assures him that she loves him, but right now, she just wants to be mad. I'll never understand why so many men don't get this concept. Trust me, gentlemen (and I use that term loosely), you guys are every bit as moody and stubborn as we can be.

Brooks & Dunn "Believe." I just heard this song for the first time yesterday, even though it's been on the radio for awhile. This one made me cry. I've always thought Kix Brooks has a great voice, and I tell you what, he could pull off some serious gospel in my opinion, after listening to this song.

Okay...that's it for my way too freakin' early music report. Have fun, kids.

Somebody please tell me this isn't as sad as it sounds.

I live in a one-bedroom apartment with 4 closets. Today, I started rearranging furniture after picking up a bookcase from R. (Wait, this isn't the sad part.)

What does one inevitably do when moving furniture around? Vacuum before placing things, right?

I had to look in 3 closets before finding the vacuum cleaner.

So, I signed up to do the NaNoWriMo program, right?

I wrote about 8,000 words and stopped. Stuck. Damn it.

I've been doing everything except write in the last few weeks. Hell, I haven't even written here in a week and a half.

I've written 3 letters to my grandfather. I mailed one.

I've watched incredibly bad daytime and night time television. The weekend fare has been pretty sad, too.

I've been litter training The Wonder Dog. I came across an 8-FOOT LONG COPPERHEAD NEAR MY PARKING SPOT AT HOME and have discontinued all walks that take place in the dark. Okay, so it was only 8 or 10 inches long, but I hate snakes. The litter training isn't going so well. But, we have had the break through of going potty near the tray today, instead of in another room.

I've been to the doctor 3 times--and was told last week that I have asthma. I've probably had it for my whole life, it was just never diagnosed. Crazy.

I've crocheted 2 afghans and a handful of hats. Even a camouflage one for a friend's little girl.

But, writing? Not a word.

I've seen some strange things in my 29 years. But, I've always been able to turn to a few things I'm interested in and find precisely what I expect.

I crochet, and I'm learning how to knit. My grandmothers both taught me how to crochet, and I'm learning how to knit now as an homage to the grandmother who passed away 18 months ago.

There's an abundance of crochet sites and list servs out there. There's always motherly/grandmotherly types, and people my age (and younger) who's grandmothers taught them how to crochet and they just enjoy it now. You can peruse any one of those sites and find patterns, recipes, project ideas, etc. All are innocuous. All.

Until the group I found today. Oh my.

Kinky Crochet

I kid you not. There's a recent poll asking members which of a list of things they'd like to see patterns for. Included are pillows with "toy pockets" and whips.

I did not join this group. There's just something wrong with a hobby associated with grannies and a request like that. I mean, I applaud them for bringing crochet into the 21st century, for finding new ways to incorporate it into people's lives, and for broadening the scope of the craft (ahem).

All I can think of is my grandmother happening across this site, thinking it's harmless (and it is, but you know what I mean). Yuck.

Your Birthdate: October 9

You are a born idealist, with more pet causes than you can count. You prefer be around others, both when working and while relaxing. Generous and giving, you believe you can change the world one person at a time. You're open minded and tolerant. People feel like they can tell you anything. Your strength: Your go-with-the-flow flexibility Your weakness: Your flair for the over dramatic Your power color: Pine green Your power symbol: Circle Your power month: September

Okay, so, I've decided to challenge myself. I've entered the National Novel Writing Month event.

Do me a favor...keep on me about this. Somehow, deadlines only do so much for encouraging me to do something.