The Clock is Ticking

It's been bizarro the last few weeks. Things happening, trying to make sense of things. So, this is sort of an update post, but more a chance for me to meander....no, mosey. I like that word better. *grin*

We've started a weight loss challenge at work. An old friend of mine, P, was a personal trainer in another life and volunteered to be the person yelling at me when I detour from the straight and narrow of diet and exercise. He was rather mean the first day (before I'd actually started), and we've only actually met once since then because of previous engagements. But that one day I'd made progress--down by 4 lbs. I'm still steadily dropping so that's good.

On that note, I'm down by 10 pounds from where I was 3 weeks ago. I'm like, totally flabbergasted. Seriously. I'm not sick and I'm not starving myself. I'm not dreaming about food and eating a head of iceberg lettuce so that something's in my stomach.

Yesterday, I found out that someone I didn't know was reading this blog a few years ago had a read a post about himself. And it was clearly about him. I never used his name, but you couldn't miss the references (location, events, etc.).

I wish I could say he was flattered. That he was touched that I would write about him with such frankness. But then I'd be a liar, now wouldn't I?

I know I've mentioned more than once the danger of words on a screen. And there are days that I write things that I probably shouldn't. And things that are on a screen leave out so many things. I knew better than to write what I did then. I wasn't raised to speak ill of others, though I'm guilty of it. I wasn't raised to be hurtful, and in this case I obviously was. Some time later, he told me what was going on in his life at the time. I was ashamed then of what I'd written--it obviously wasn't fair.

To his credit, he's not said anything about it since reading that post. And he's stayed my friend. In fact, he's busy whipping my overweight self into shape---what kind of person does that after so personal an attack?

Someone pretty damn special, and a much bigger person than I was at the time. I'd give a thousand reasons for what I said and the hurt I caused if it would do any good. Instead, I'll just own up to the truth.

Sometimes I'm a hateful bitch. But I'm less so today than I was yesterday. I'm sorry for what I said, and I will do my level best to not do that to you again.