Sometimes..I wonder…
More importantly, it’s been a good month since I’ve gotten enough sleep to get me through the day. Of course, if I weren’t doing 3 jobs in one 8 hour work day, I wouldn’t have this problem. Maybe.
I’m not feeling it right now. And by “it” I mean centered, productive, happy. Well, maybe happy, but not joyous. Even Easter, my favorite time for renewal and recharging was disappointing this year . I just was too tired to give much of a damn. So, I sat and enjoyed by stayed rather uninvolved.
Two months ago I had a major surgery. Up until that point, this…listlessness I’ve been feeling I could attribute to feeling like crap 26 hours a day. Multiple diagnoses, multiple meds. All to eventually be incredibly relieved after surgery. If ever there was a miracle surgery, having a rib removed was mine.
But today, after a month of insomnia, piled on top of 3 weeks of cramming 3 full time jobs into 8 hours a day, and feeling almost as bad as I did a month before surgery. Definitely can tell that I’ve been hard on my body.
But, I wonder…I know that I’ve dealt with some depression before. I wonder if having all the medical problems going on masked it for a while. Of course, now, I also wonder if coming off all the meds I was on for physical ailments was such a good idea.
Regardless, I have a sleeping disorder. And it’s being beyond disorderly these days. Even with help. What I wouldn’t give for one night’s uninterrupted sleep.
