The way we were
R apologized. It all boiled down to the same argument we've had time and again--words on a page (screen) can never emote. While his intentions were without focus, what appeared on the page very much bothered me. On more than one occasion I've shared some part of myself with him and come away feeling a bit foolish for opening up. This time, it took several days before I did, and it came via his blog. Yuck. This after he stressed that he thinks maybe we should "re-audition" for each other.
Once I voiced my tentative thoughts and feelings, I let myself think a little about it. It certainly didn't hurt that after our conversation, I did stay the night and fall asleep in his arms. Whatever else is going on in my life, that is the safest I've felt before. But just letting me say those things (granted, it wasn't a long conversation or even in depth) and then curling up with me gave me a sense of safety, of no regrets for speaking. His blog post fucked that up for me.
Actually, the real problem is that he forgot his own teachings about seemingly harmless posts. They aren't always harmless just because the writer sees no harm in them. The reader, in the absence of clear intent, must invoke his or her own emotions, which far too often are not the intended ones. One things leads to another and someone's offended or misguided.
So, a word to the wise and the not so wise (in order that ye may become wise): Watch what you write. Those who are emotionally invested in your topic of choice may misunderstand your intent.
Once I voiced my tentative thoughts and feelings, I let myself think a little about it. It certainly didn't hurt that after our conversation, I did stay the night and fall asleep in his arms. Whatever else is going on in my life, that is the safest I've felt before. But just letting me say those things (granted, it wasn't a long conversation or even in depth) and then curling up with me gave me a sense of safety, of no regrets for speaking. His blog post fucked that up for me.
Actually, the real problem is that he forgot his own teachings about seemingly harmless posts. They aren't always harmless just because the writer sees no harm in them. The reader, in the absence of clear intent, must invoke his or her own emotions, which far too often are not the intended ones. One things leads to another and someone's offended or misguided.
So, a word to the wise and the not so wise (in order that ye may become wise): Watch what you write. Those who are emotionally invested in your topic of choice may misunderstand your intent.
May 4, 2005, 12:10:00 AM
Just makes me think of all the letters exchanged that made their way into novels. Now we have competing blogs. It will be interesting to see what we end up with in the end. End, being after the Blog Wars.