You'll feel smarter after reading this.
Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever,because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever,but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever."
--Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.
"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world,I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not withall those flies and death and stuff,"
--Mariah Carey
"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part ofyour life,"
--Brooke Shields, during an interview to becom e spokespersonfor federal antismoking campaign.
"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body,"
--Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.
"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates inthe country,"
--Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.
"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president,"--Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents.
"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, andI'm just the one to do it,"
--A congressional candidate in Texas.
"I don't feel we did wrong in taking this great country away fromthem. There were great numbers of people who needed new land, and theIndians were selfishly trying to keep it for themselves."
--John Wayne
"Half this game is ninety percent mental."--Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark
"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities inour air and water that are doing it."
--Al Gore, Ex-Vice President
"I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix."
--Dan Quayle
"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?"--Lee Iacocca
"I was provided with additional input that was radically different from the truth. I assisted in furthering that version,"
--Colonel Oliver North, from his Iran-Contra testimony.
"The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guylike Norman Einstein,"
-- sports analyst.
"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types ofpeople."
--Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor.
"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."--Bill Clinton, Ex-President
"We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur."
--Al Gore, VP
"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas."
--Keppel Enderbery
"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we receivednotice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if thereis a change in your circumstances."
--Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina
"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as theygo to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And thenext morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record."
--Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman
--Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.
"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world,I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not withall those flies and death and stuff,"
--Mariah Carey
"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part ofyour life,"
--Brooke Shields, during an interview to becom e spokespersonfor federal antismoking campaign.
"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body,"
--Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.
"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates inthe country,"
--Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.
"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president,"--Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents.
"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, andI'm just the one to do it,"
--A congressional candidate in Texas.
"I don't feel we did wrong in taking this great country away fromthem. There were great numbers of people who needed new land, and theIndians were selfishly trying to keep it for themselves."
--John Wayne
"Half this game is ninety percent mental."--Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark
"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities inour air and water that are doing it."
--Al Gore, Ex-Vice President
"I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix."
--Dan Quayle
"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?"--Lee Iacocca
"I was provided with additional input that was radically different from the truth. I assisted in furthering that version,"
--Colonel Oliver North, from his Iran-Contra testimony.
"The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guylike Norman Einstein,"
-- sports analyst.
"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types ofpeople."
--Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor.
"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."--Bill Clinton, Ex-President
"We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur."
--Al Gore, VP
"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas."
--Keppel Enderbery
"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we receivednotice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if thereis a change in your circumstances."
--Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina
"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as theygo to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And thenext morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record."
--Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman
Aug 13, 2005, 11:34:00 AM
Very amusing, i particularly like the hillary clinton comment.