Over at One Deep Breath this week, the prompt is to write tanka, which is...

A Japanese verse form in five lines, the first and third composed of five syllables and the rest of seven.[Japanese.] (That means a 5-7-5-7-7 structure.) American Heritage Dictionary

I lurve playing with form. Like other writers I imagine, my writing notebooks/spirals/journals/grocery store receipts are full of bits that have the same words in various arrangements. I rearrange and rearrange until the breaking mimic my thoughts. And sometimes, until the shape on the page feels right.

Several of you, dear readers, may have noticed I don't follow directions very well...but when it comes to physical poetic structure (like syllables on a line), I'm excited by the challenge. I may still run amok with the rules of content, but I can't follow all the rules, now can I? (I love that word--"amok.")

Anyway, here's my offering. This one came way easier than anything I've written for any of these prompts lately.

Smiling local girl
big dreams in a small, small world,
faith in the future.
Waiting on the spin to stop.
Waiting on the spin to stop, for her.

Check out more tanka, and other poetry, at One Deep Breath.

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4 Response to "Tanka"

  1. ian russell says:
    Sep 15, 2006, 9:41:00 AM

    so, optimism or procrastination? (does optimism breed procrastination?, i wonder now) i hope it's optimism.

    it's a great poem, i like it very much.

  2. Clare says:
    Sep 15, 2006, 11:13:00 AM

    Excellently said!

  3. susanlavonne says:
    Sep 16, 2006, 12:36:00 PM

    run amok!
    i hear that it makes
    the spinning stop

    welcome to ODB...we encourage amokicity ;-)

  4. paris parfait says:
    Sep 17, 2006, 7:20:00 AM

    Lovely poem! Reminds me of that '60s film "Stop the World, I Want to Get Off!"

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